All Wet

Free Trade vs. the Golden Goose

The Goose [Protection] that lays the golden eggs] good standard of living, prosperity, etc.] Democratic politican hands knife (“free trade, English make”) to working man, saying “kill the goose and get all your eggs at once”


THE CATASTROPHE.

Air.—”The Bull Dog.”

Allen Thurman on the bank, Grover Cleveland in the pool,
Allen Thurman on the bank, Grover Cleveland in the pool,
Allen Thurman on the bank, Grover Cleveland in the pool,
“O, help me out and put me on the Presidential stool! ”

Chorus.
Singing tra, la, la, la, la, la, la, singing tra, la, la, la, la, la, la,
Singing tra, la, la, la, la, la, singing tra, la, la, la, la, la,
Tra, la, la, tra, la, la, tra, la, la, tra, la, la.

Then old Allen stooped to catch him and asked, “What do I get?”
“O, Allen,” answered Grover, “you’ll probably get wet!”

Singing tra, la, la, etc.

“O, Allen, don’t forsake him! ” the office-holders said;
“Pray what’s your fatal soaking to our own loss of bread?”

Singing tra, la, la, etc.

Then Allen unto Grover threw out a red bandanna,
Which was whirled away to Nowhere on a breeze from Indiana.

Singing tra, la, la, etc.

Allen Thurman on the bank, Grover Cleveland in the pool;
While Harrison is sitting on the Presidential stool.

Singing tra, la, la, etc.

One stuck in Free Trade quicksand and t’other in surprise
Amused the fickle Goddess who has two stars for eyes.

Singing tra, la, la, etc.

Said the Goddess, loudly laughing, in manner somewhat rude,
“You’ve carried one State, Grover, — Innocuous Desuetude!”

Singing tra, la, la, etc.

— O. C. Hooper.


Notes:

Grover Cleveland was the Democratic presidential candidate in 1888.  Allen Thurman was his vice-presidential running mate.

The office holders here were people who relied on political patronage for their jobs.

Thurman’s trademark symbol was a red bandanna.

Benjamin Harrison of Indiana was the Republican candidate for president.

Free Trade was the Democrats’ major position.  The Star-eyed Goddess is the personification of Free Trade.


Tomorrow: The Free Trade Banner

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One Response to All Wet

  1. Pingback: Index of Titles and First Lines: 1888 Harrison Song Book | Madhouse Manor

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